By Gloria Mwaniga.
Adios 2012
Elvis Presley sang, ‘who can tell when summer turns to autumn’ and so it is with you. You didn’t even notice when Jan turned to June then July and now December.
Little ambers of hope are still aglow in that noble heart of yours.
These years’ resolutions only remain little stained ink drops on a white sheet of writing pad on the 2012 diary you bought at the catholic bookshop.
It’s rather true that things didn’t really work out that well. But ngoja tu! Next year, you’ll see.
2013 is the year.
It started with a New Years’ Resolution.
Just for the record, damn New Year resolutions.
They have never worked.
For one, you are still at your old job and every morning feels like a visit to the dentist.
Then, you had planned to save much much more this year. (After reading Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad, Poor Dad, but well, even he is bankrupt now right?)
Then there is your love life, you vowed that 2011 was the last Christmas you spent alone. That by 2012, you would have a permanent someone to watch, ‘White Christmas ’with. (And I do not mean your cat.)
Bonus Holiday Trouble.
So you decide to be optimistic about life. (Thanks to Joel Osteen’s CD).
And you focus on the good of the ending year; Like the Company bonus that you were promised at the beginning of the year.
And the company party. (For a little gossip on whom the new General Manager’s eyeing, and who’s dating the hot guy in HR.)
And you will remember to forget the holiday plans you had for Mombasa, and you will postpone that to next year….
And that is why when someone mentions how fast life is changing.
You speak up almost defiantly and say……
Everyday is just the same….same old, same old. Nothing changes.
But you are forgetting something…..
You forget that you are not the same age you were last year this time.
That the passage of time has left a mark, albeit unseen, on your perspective of life.
That your naivety is dented and a couple of your dreams discarded to give way to the ones that are more ‘realistic’.
You refuse to notice that in November unlike August, the city streets outside the Hilton are carpeted with a beautiful purple, thanks to the jacaranda tree shedding its flowers. And the golden brown broad leafs falling on Mama Ngina street loudly whispering that its fall.
You refuse to admit that your bank account has grown, even so slightly, since the year began.
And you close your eyes to the fact that your fathers’ hair is a little whiter than it was last year.
Everyday is the same.
Sunrise, traffic jams, noisy touts, classic 105 then work.
Same job. Same boss. Same salary.
January to December.
Yet 2012 is almost over.
Someone might have discovered 1001 ways to use peanut butter in the recent past, but you know that no matter how creative humanity has become, there are only so many ways you can use 25 leave days in a year.
And so you sit and wait…..
You wait for something big to happen.
You wait for that life changing phone call that will waltz you off your rather boring job and into a paradise with a loving boss that triples you salary.
You wait to win TPF from the comfort of your sitting room couch.
You wait to meet that superrich super fly guy so he can buy you a dream house in Lavington, or Thika greens. Or a piece of land in Ruai or kitengela and build rentals there
You wait for your savings to be enough to pay for you Masters at UON .
If you are a writer, you wait.
You wait for a letter from Dorcas Odumbe or a Caine prize nomination.
If you are a teacher, you wait for the next strike that will translate into a pay rise.
If you work for a corporate, you wait for the next paycheck, and the promotion that is long overdue.
If you are a youth’ you wait for the next government’ that will give jobs to the youth
If you are in university, you wait for a real job, after all who wants to volunteer and do anything for free?
You wait because you are a generation Y and you cannot settle for a ‘small’ salary because it cannot fit into your Big Kenyan Dream
You wait because Kenyan men are broke asses (at least the ones you know in Nairobi) or Lazybones (Coasterians) or Players (kisumerian) or Mushy and more loyal than little Chihuahuas (Kao’s).
If you are a Kenyan guy, you dream.
You dream of that one girl who is not materialistic like Madonna.( who lives in a material world.)
You dream of a boss who will one day ‘see your true potential’ and pay you what you deserve.
You Dream of Uganda’s bootylicious chics who serve you on their knees (literally).
Or the Rwandese softspoken submissive chics (Remember Gaelle?)
Because Kenyan girls are ‘too much’ . Shiko loves your wallet, Akinyis ‘raha and beer,’ Wekesa wants a brood of children and Mwende Is too…..well.. active huh?’
Mwanaisha is a lazy spender and Sanaipeis’ parents will want 50 cows (what the hell!!! kwani she’s a BMW?)
And so you stare at the green on the other side….unaware that it too could be a reflection of your Kenyan Mid December Dream!!!
glominage 