WHY I FEEL RATHER SORRY FOR MALAWI’S DEAR JOYCE BANDA

She made her grand entry into presidency by doing the unimaginable; chopping her salary into near-half and selling off her chopper to save on resources, only to be invited to a function abroad and lack a means of transport. She then decided to beg Ian Kham, Botswana’s eligible bachelor president to give her a lift to the function (of course  dear controversial Ian said no!)

On corruption allegations of her cabinet, she fired all of them without batting an eyelid-and (unlike Kiir), got away with it.

Furthermore, on Monday the 27th January 2014, in the wee hours of the morning, Malawi police rounded up Joyce’s former close ally and ex-Justice minister Raph Kasambara’s house to arrest him on charges of money laundering. Mr. Kasambara, a once-upon-a-time bosom pal of Joyce Banda, was enjoying his deep slumber then; he took his sweet time before opening the door, then casually glanced at the arrest warrant, smiled and answered the police a question that has existed since the beginning of time.  What is in a name?

He informed then briskly that in Malawi, ‘a rose by any other name doesn’t smell as sweet ‘by declaring that his name was infact, Not Raph but Raphael.

The surprised police officers then waited in the chilly lucid air of early dawn as one of them rushed off to go and correct the

Name error.

Kasambara used this golden opportunity to inform his face book friends of the warrant saga, obviously greatly amused by his own ‘witty delay of justice’.

So the name on the arrest warrant was corrected before Raph-ael was arrested.

Finally, even as we hear grand tales of rich corrupt politicians in many countries stashing away millions of dollars in secret Swiss accounts, Malawi’s corrupt politicians have a more creative way to hide the cash. They seem to know that walls-even ATM walls- have ears and so they safely stash their cash in teddy bears, pillows and mattresses. How truly creative!

I wonder what the country had planned for #malawi@50.

Happy Jubilee year Joyce Hilda Banda.

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