SOMEONE TELL NIGERIANS….

I have something to tell them Nigerians and since 160 characters aren’t enough, I shall blog about it.(I  hope they are holding their ears and listening…)

Dear Nigerians ,it looks like it’s not only  Okonkwo and the others elders who were treated badly in Umuofia in Nigeria. Even our boys  ‘Harambee Stars’  got some ‘bad bad’  treatment from you Oga’s .

So, you check them, our golden boys! into a 2 star hotel (this is where I snap my fingers and rotate them over my head to mean abomination in a Nollywood fashion).

 Whats  more ? You left them to eat yamfufu and bitter herbs and then, as if that is not enough, denied them training space and one Adel , our coach,  had to look  around,  and go beg a’ beg ooh  for a place to train in.

He got a little rural school i.e the back of a classroom in the despondent ‘Ajai Primary School’  (which, if the pictures on TV and online are true, it looks like Mukibi Educational Institute For the Sons of African Gentlemen, where Holy Moses Schooled. )

My troubles do not end there!

I have a deep suspicion with the name of  that School. AJAI PRIMARY SCHOOL And this is why. If you went to High school on the Mid 2000’s in Kenya, Then you studied an anthology of stories called ENCOUNTERS FROM AFRICA. You must have come across a story called ‘AJAYI AND THE WITCHDOCTOR’. This is a story of a man who was so poor that everyone believed that he had inherited the poverty from his father. So dear Naijas’ does this story have anything to do with the proximity of the hotel you checked our golden boys into? And your thoughts on our play tactics. Why in Ogubwefi’s name didn’t you take them to Calabar to warm up?

 

 

OUR YEARS OF JUBILEE.

Like you Know, Kenya is a Christian state. And what’s more, this is our year of Jubilee, so we are enjoying something called ‘favour’.  Shelve your assumptions that you will beat us automatically. That should explain why in the 11th hour(read the 92nd minute, you ponyoka’d with an erroneous goal. Arrrgggghhh! ) but our mboys showed you dust. And that is no palaver palaver.

A NEW COACH CALLED ADEL’

We do have a new coach called Adel Amrouche.  I heard him speak on the ‘JSO’ John Sibi Okumu show last week and you know what, you will never find someone like him. He sets fire to the rain and soon and very soon, we shall be packing them bags  and sending them off to Brazil-o’.

PACK WELL WHEN YOU COME TO KENYA.

As you know, revenge is a dish best served cold, and it’s a rather  cold and rainy season here in Kenya. So brethrens, don’t forget your  training boots because the ground at Matopeni primary school is rather wet and the elephant grass has sort of overgrown(of course we can lend you slashers if you want , we are generous , you Know..). Also, the madondo’s are ready, fermented and waiting to be served. And if you dare speak. One Mzalendo kibunja’s ears will be on the ground, listening out for hate speech.

 PS : There can never be extra time, run- offs or penalties. Ask Willy if you doubt me Oh’ !

Till then, we shall wait for you and forever perpetuate  our Nyayo philosophy of tweets , love and unity.

2 thoughts on “SOMEONE TELL NIGERIANS….

  1. Purity says:

    hilarious, why is it that I can picture you reciting this! tihihi good stuff gal! some should surely tell nigerians what you have said!

  2. mercy says:

    hilarious and witty.great work

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